Age 3

To all my friends that told me that age 3 is harder than age 2... 
I owe you an apology. 
Because I thought you were all liars. 
You aren't. 

Last year there was no way I could have believed you. Afterall, age 2... age 2 is insane. You have this little person that can't quite effectively communicate yet. It's super frustrating for all involved. 
And there's potty training. 
Ugh. 

I kept thinking that age 3 just had to be an improvement. I mean.. at least my little girl would be able to tell me what she needs, instead of just staring at me with those big blue eyes and crying.... Right? 
And at age 3 she would be able to use the restroom by herself (hopefully)... and I don't know... make her own lunch or something? 

But, I was wrong. 

Age 3 is a train wreck. 

She CAN communicate with me now. 
Effectively. 
That's what I wanted. But, what's the saying? Be careful what you wish for. 
Because now... now she talks ALL. THE. TIME. 
And she asks me for things ALL. THE. TIME. 
And there's a million questions EVERY. DAY. 
Oh.. and let's not forget that she can not only communicate with me, she can communicate with everyone. And she tattles on me. 
She told the cashier at the grocery store that I burped really loudly on the way there. 
She told my grandpa the color of my bra. 
She told my mom to "suck it". 

She does go potty by herself now. But, it's still a big production. And now there's a lot of "did you remember to wipe?" "Did you flush?" "Did you wash your hands?" 
It's just as time consuming as changing a diaper. 
Oh, and let's not forget the public announcements in the restroom. "Hey look! I'm pooping, Mom!!" 
And the public restroom questions, when I'm using the restroom... "Mom, are you pooping or just peeing? Is it pee? Good job, Mom!! Don't forget to wipe!" 

I thought at age 3 the tantrums would be over. 
They aren't. 
They're just more articulate. 
At age 2 there was a lot of sobbing and occasionally a total fit of rage on the floor. 
Now, at age 3... there's still sobbing... but, it's followed with: "But, I really, really, Really, REALLY want it, Mom!", "But why?? Why not? WHY NOT!?" and my personal favorite, "But, I'm your little girl and you love me more than the whole world!!" 
Telling her "No" has taken on a whole new dimension. 

I hear girls are more dramatic than boys.. and I don't know if that's really true. But, what I do know is that my daughter is super dramatic. She has a flair for it. She makes it an art form. It's truly amazing... in a highly annoying makes-me-want-to-bang-my-head-against-a-wall-kind-of-way. 

So my dear friends... all of you that warned me that age 3 is harder than age 2... you were correct. 

But, so was I. 
Because sometimes... most of the time... age 3 is kind of awesome too. 
Because she can communicate with me more effectively. She tells me that she loves me. She tells me stories about brave little girls that are also knights, that slay dragons and giants on beanstalks. 
She colors me pictures AND (bonus) I can tell what they are. 

She goes potty by herself. And that is pretty freaking sweet. 

She no longer throws food on the floor when she's done eating (now she sneaks it to the dog). 
She can put on her own clothes and shoes. 
She tells me when she needs something or when something hurts. 
She tattles on other people to me. 
She does chores. 
She learns things so quickly and everything is an adventure. 
So overall, age 3 is actually pretty cool. 

I still have friends with older kids that tell me: "Wait til she's 6, or 8, or 12, or 16" etc. etc. etc. 

And I imagine that those friends are correct. 

It probably never gets easier. For every thing our child learns and as they become more independent... there is another thing that we have to worry about. Each new year will bring new challenges. 
But, we're parents... we signed on for worry when we had our kids. It's never going to change... whether they're 3 or 53. 
It's never going to get easier... so... I guess all I can do is hang on, enjoy the ride, and do my best. 

That's all any of us can do.


-Carly

7 Guys That Are Hotter Than "The Hot Convict" (And you've probably never heard of them)

Jesse Williams

He's all over the news and social media.
Jeremy Meeks, dubbed "The Hot Convict".
But just how sexy is he, really?

Sure... he may have that "smoulder" in a very Jesse Williams (Dr. Jackson Avery from Grey's Anatomy) kind of way....

But are looks REALLY enough for our society to dub someone "Hot"?
Let's talk about WHY the "hot convict" is a convict to begin with:
This mugshot that is circling around is his third. He's already done time in prison.
This time he's charged with gang related crimes, and five weapons charges. His mother maintains that he is just misunderstood and even set up a fund to help with his defense. It's currently made $3,500, but team Meeks is hoping to raise at least $25,000.
The Stockton Police Department maintain that the "hot felon" is actually one of their most dangerous criminals. His bail has been set at $1 MILLION dollars.
And if that isn't enough to turn you off... I have no hope for you.
Oh... and here is one of this other mugshots:

But, seriously people..... There are people in America that are sending this guy money! Wake up!
And just in case you aren't convinced... let's talk about 7 other guys that are WAY hotter than this idiot. 



(In no particular order...) 

Larry DePrimo 

While on duty one cold night, NYPD Officer Larry DePrimo passed by a homeless man sitting in Times Square and noticed that the homeless man had blisters on his feet "the size of his palm".

DePrimo was overcome with concern for the homeless man, and went to a nearby Sketchers store to purchase thermal socks and winter insulated boots for the man. 

DePrimo never meant for his deed to be noticed, but a tourist from Arizona happened to see him bend down and place the socks and boots on the homeless man's feet. She took a photo and posted it on Facebook, where it quickly got 400,000 likes. 

Even more valuable than the thousands of “likes” and the attention he's received, DePrimo said, is how his small act could galvanize more people to help.

“It’s a lot about the people,” DePrimo told the Today Show. “You see just great comments. People are saying their faith in humanity is restored and that’s the biggest thing I can take away from all of this.”

Cory Kalanick 

Firefighter Cory Kalanick responded to a call in Fresno, California. When he arrived on scene, he noticed a small unconscious kitten lying amid a burned, smoke filled room.
Kalanick carefully picked up the kitten, dubbed "Lucky", and rushed him outside. 

There Kalanick placed an oxygen mask designed for a child over the face of the kitten. He also used cool water to help resuscitate the kitten. 

Kalanick said he hoped that when people heard his story, they would learn about fire safety and exit plans for your family and pets. 

"Make a disaster plan for both you and your pets in the case of an emergency. Simple steps include IDing your pet, creating a disaster kit with both human and animal inclusions, and of course, taking your pet with you should you evacuate."

Kyle Carpenter

In July 2010, Corporal Carpenter deployed to Marjah, Helmand Province, Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom. On November 21, 2010, while joining his team to fight off a Taliban attack in a small village the Marines had nicknamed Shadier between two villages nicknamed Shady and Shadiest, Carpenter suffered severe injuries to his face and right arm from the blast of an enemy hand grenade; after-action reports state that he threw himself in front of the grenade to protect a fellow Marine.

In March 2011, the South Carolina legislature passed a resolution recognizing Carpenter's service, noting that he "suffered catastrophic wounds in the cause of freedom" and "has shown himself worthy of the name Marine." He sustained a depressed skull, a collapsed right lung, multiple facial fractures, the loss of a third of his lower jaw and fragment injuries to his arms and legs. His injuries required brain surgery and he lost his right eye due to his injuries.

Carpenter appeared in a video, "Still in the Fight," to raise money for the Fisher House Foundation, which provides free and low-cost housing to veterans and families receiving treatment at military hospitals. 

Chad Pregracke

For Pregracke, removing debris from the Mississippi River (and other water ways) has become his life's work. Sometimes called "The Rivers' Garbageman," he lives on a barge about nine months out of the year with members of his 12-person crew. Together, they organize community cleanups along rivers across the country.

It's a dirty job, but Pregracke, took it on because he realized that no one was doing it. It began as a solo effort, and over the years his energy, enthusiasm and dedication have helped it grow. To date, about 70,000 volunteers have joined his crusade, helping him collect more than 7 million pounds of debris through his nonprofit, Living Lands & Waters.

On average, Pregracke says he organizes 70 cleanups a year in 50 communities. The cleanups are posted on the nonprofit's website, Facebook and other outlets so people know where and when they can volunteer.

Jimmie Briggs 

Over the past two decades, Jimmie Briggs has earned a reputation as a respected human rights advocate in the field of journalism. He has produced seminal reporting on the lives of war-affected youth and children soldiers, as well as survivors of sexual violence.He wrote a book titled: Innocence Lost: When Child Soldiers Go To War. 

Most recently, Briggs founded the Man Up Campaign, a global initiative for mobilizing young people to stop violence against women and girls through the arts, sports and technology. It formally launched during a Young Leaders Summit at the University of Johannesburg during the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa, bringing youth of both genders together from 25 countries throughout the world, many from Sub-Saharan Africa. For his work with Man Up Campaign and the issue of violence against women, Briggs was selected as the winner of the 2010 GQ Magazine “Better Men Better World” Search, as well as one of Women’s eNews’ 21 Leaders for the 21st Century.

Jake Harriman
Jake Harriman graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy and served over 7 years in the USMC as a platoon commander in both the Infantry and a Special Operations unit. He led Marines in four operational deployments, including two combat tours in Iraq, and was awarded the Bronze Star for actions in combat during his second tour in Iraq.

His personal experiences fighting the war on terror around the world convinced him that extreme poverty is a contributing factor to the causes of 21st century terrorism and insurgency, and that a reduction in extreme poverty will impede their proliferation. To fight terrorism and insurgency from another angle, Jake left his career in the Marine Corps pursued his masters at Stanford where he conducted independent research on what worked and what didn’t for non-profits operating in impoverished regions, specifically Africa.  Taking what he learned, he founded Nuru International with the goal of helping communities pull themselves out of the clutches of extreme poverty through a sustainable business model that included education and micro loans for better crop inputs. 

Gaetano Acerra

Officer Gaetano Acerra received a call from a distraught 13-year-old named Cameron Simmons.  Simmons phoned the police department after getting into an argument with his mother and told Acerra he no longer wanted to live with his family. 
After the call, the officer visited Simmons at home to check in and found the teen was living in a bare room with no real bed.

"My heart went out for him. I thought the little things that he needed I could give him, to make him a happier kid." 
And give he did. Several weeks after the call, the officer returned to Simmons' home in a car loaded with gifts for the 13-year-old. Acerra's presents included a bed, TV, desk and Nintendo Wii game system. "I didn't do this for publicity or to get people to notice me," Acerra said. "I did it because I could. It was the right thing to do and I think people should do things like this." 

Perfect Pancakes

Sometimes there's nothing quite as lovely as a pancake for breakfast.
So, this morning I decided to share my Grandma's recipe for "Perfect Pancakes".
These pancakes have never failed me.
I'll be posting healthier versions in the future... but for now... here is a classic buttermilk pancake recipe:

Perfect Pancakes

Classic Buttermilk Pancakes

Ingredients: 

2 eggs
2 tablespoons melted butter
1 1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1 1/2 cup flour

Directions: 

Heat griddle or skillet over medium high heat
Whisk butter, eggs and milk until frothy.
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well.
Pour about 1/4 cup batter into skillet/griddle.
When batter has stopped forming bubbles and is nice golden brown, flip over and cook another 1-2 minutes.

Serve with your favorite topping and enjoy!
Feel free to post a picture of your fabulous pancake creations below.

-Carly 

Shall We Date?

I think it’s safe to say that dating with kids is much more complicated than without. Suddenly the whole “marriage first” concept makes a whole lot of sense, but hey it doesn’t always work out that way, and that’s okay. Sometimes you do get married first and that doesn’t always work out either, as emotionally trying as either of these particular situations may be, it is part of our reality (I know, I hate it too). So the question remains, when do we date, how to we go about dating, are we really ready and how will my children respond to this? I’ve shared before that I am a single mom, and I think what has been the hardest thing for me to do as a single mom aside from caring for my daughter is accepting that title because I never wanted to be one. I think it took me a solid year with mini breakdowns in between before the concept really struck me as real. With that being said, I think that’s the first step. Accepting where we are and meeting our own selves where we currently stand (picture a big YOU ARE HERE sign) in life emotionally, mentally, and physically. Once we acknowledge what we are and where we are I think it’s safe to move forward a bit. Notice I said acknowledge verses accept, that is because most situations, emotions, concerns etc. are temporary and 100 percent changeable!! So with that in mind, why do we even feel like we should date? I mean realistically we’ve most likely been a single parent for a while now right? I think it all boils down to feeling pressured in one way or another. I know I have felt pressured to change my “single mom” title just because it came with unwanted stereotypes. I made a conscious decision to reject negative judgments of others and that no longer mattered to me. But hey, wait, what about all the ridiculously cute couples and families flooding our news feeds. I can’t even tell you how many times I uninstalled my Facebook app because I just didn’t want to know how happy everyone else was! So maybe we feel pressured to be like everyone else…Freudian slip much? Whatever our reasons, they need to solely be OUR reasons, because our life is our own and now our children;, who are the beneficiaries of our decision making. It wouldn’t be fair to put ourselves or others (children, potential mates) into a dating relationship as band-aides to our insecurities. Trust me, I know it gets lonely, and sometimes you just want the companionship and someone to watch bad tv with, but we must take that next step with a clear head.  I am obviously not an expert but here are a few things to think about:

4 signs that you are maybe NOT so ready to date

1.      If you’re looking for someone to be the father of your child/children, then maybe you should hold off. We as mother’s need to be strong and stable on our own. We need to be confident in our parenting abilities with or without the presence of a father.

2.      If you’re looking for someone to support you and FIX the situation. Simply put, the relationship will fail before it even gets started. By wanting someone to storm in and make it all better you are slapping these expectations on them that they don’t even know exist and will never meet...automatic disappoint. It is important to be well established on your own and able to stand on your own two feet before bringing someone new into the mix.

3.      If you’re just looking for sex. I feel like when children are involved we need to bring up our standards bar a bit as the choices we make are the things our children see and directly learn from. We know it gets lonely and the dry spells turn into the drought but I think we owe it to ourselves to want more. And hey, remember when we had sex because we loved someone?  Is it worth the disappointment? What if one of you ends up wanting more and the other one doesn’t…a mess that could be avoided, should be avoided, our kids make enough messes on their own!

4.      If you have to question your readiness. I feel like this is self-explanatory. If you have to question whether or not you are ready to date, you aren’t. If there are too many “what ifs”, “what about”, “should I”, then wait! I’ve got some great news, men or women are going to be on this earth for a while, so there is no need to rush. Instead, use this time to really get in touch with yourself and what you’re really wanting. That confidence will automatically reflect in your relationship. And that’s fantastic!!

So overall, it’s important that you are confident with who you are, and in the life that you live, whatever you are not confident or comfortable with is not permanent and can be changed! Before you drag anyone into your situation, make sure your situation isn’t a drag. We’ve all got skeletons, but let’s at least put them in the closet in alphabetical order. When meeting someone it is important to be opened and honest and to be completely okay with the response you get no matter which way it goes. After all, the idea is to blend together not to fit a circle into a square. And last but not least, children aside, we need to be first. It is important that we take good care of ourselves and remain strong, our lives are the blueprints of our children’s future so when we make choices we should ask how this it going to positively or negatively play out in our lives, and move forward from there. Xo

Margaritas anyone?
-Sydney

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

Let's talk about motherhood, shall we? 

Moms... we need to change our attitudes. 

Hear me out! 

We mothers can be like vultures. We pick each other apart and analyze each other's parenting styles, children, clothes, or food choices. 

We argue about vaccines, circumcision, car seats, diapers, breast feeding, food and diet, schools, discipline, the list goes on and on.... 

We compare ourselves to each other: "Well.. at least I don't (fill in snotty remark here)." 

Moms... it's okay to feel passionate about those things. It's okay to believe what you believe. You get to decide what's best for your child. Guess what? We all do. 

I know what you're thinking. "But.. MY way is RIGHT." 

Right? 

Right. 

Hey, guess what? That's cool. 

You know what's not cool? 

Attacking another mother because she does things differently. 

Let's talk about the things that make us the same... 

1.) We cry. From the moment our child comes into this world, we are doomed to cry. We cry when they're born. We cry when they take their first step. We cry on the first day of school, at prom, when they get their license, when they graduate, when they get married, etc... we are doomed to cry. All of us. 

2.) We go through a phase where we look and smell like zombies. I can't stand it where I hear the mother of a newborn say "He's such a good sleeper!" Really? Because my newborn woke up every two hours like clock work for EIGHT MONTHS STRAIGHT. But, regardless.... whether your zombie phase only lasted a week or two, or eight months... we all go through one. 

3.) We hide in the bathroom to eat doughnuts (or cake, or cupcake, or candy bar, or wine) just so we don't have to share with our child. Because nothing is ours anymore. But this doughnut... damn it.. this doughnut is MINE. 

4.) We get pooped on, peed on, puked on... we get snot and food and drinks and God-knows-what-else all over us. And not just when they're babies. I got peed on more when my daughter was potty training than the entire time she was a baby. 

5.) We get excited about everything. The first time our baby opens their eyes; crawls; walks; says their first word; gets their first good grade in school; says the alphabet; draws a picture (and you can tell what it is!)..... We are proud of our children. We love watching them grow and develop into little people. 

6.) We're nostalgic. We save all kinds of things that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. Ticket stubs, cards, drawings, baby clothes, blankets... anything and everything that reminds us of when they were little or all the amazing things they've done. 

7.) We all question ourselves. Are we doing the right thing? Did I pick the right name? The right doctor? The right car seat? The right school? Am I teaching them the right stuff? My friend's kid (insert whatever here) and my kid isn't. Crap. What am I doing wrong? We all do that to ourselves. It's what makes us good parents. It's also what drives us crazy. 

8.) We are all a little crazy. How can you not be crazy? We go years and years without the slightest privacy. Kids opening the shower curtain and scaring us half to death.... going pee with a little inspector asking you how it all works.... prying eyes and billions of embarrassing questions. Public announcements: "My mommy has boobs!" "My mommy has a weird mole!" "My mommy has a dimple on her butt!!" (Those are all things my daughter has said to various cashiers within the last year.) 

Okay... so I think you get the point. 

We're more alike than we are different, ladies.... 

So why do we run the race of motherhood like a sprint, instead of a team sport? 

Why are we competing, instead of working together? 

We don't have to agree on everything in order to be a community of mothers to each other. 

That's what we are. That's what we should be. A community. 

But, more and more... I see moms trying to do everything on their own. And it's hard these days.. with things like Pintrest making us feel like we have to hand make dozens of birthday invites out of doilies, instead of sending a Facebook invite for every one to meet at Chuckie Cheese. 

We're hard on ourselves. Our generation of mothers has more information about safety and health than any other generation. We worry about what our kids eat and how much technology is too much technology. We worry about everything. We're on a whole new playing field than our previous generations. 

So how can we help each other out? How do we become that community that each of us really needs? 

Here are a few ideas: 

Make two casseroles. 

When you're trying out that new recipe... making a lasagna or trying out one of those famous Pintrest casseroles... make a second one and drop it off with another momma. We all need a break from cooking.. and sometimes something as simple as getting some relief from the mundane tasks of every day motherhood can mean more than anything. 

Pick up your friend's kids. 

Are you going to the park or taking your littles out for ice cream? Offer to pick up your friend's kids and take them with you. It's not a big deal, just an hour or two.... but, can you imagine what you'd do with a free hour or two? 

Organize play dates. And follow through. 

We all talk about it... "Let's get together soon!" But, do it. It's great for the kids and for the moms. Sometimes there is nothing more wonderful that sitting on the porch with another adult, drinking iced tea and watching the kids run around. 

Organize a clothing swap. 

Our kids outgrow clothes. Fast. Let's get together and figure this out! Think garage sale. But free! Score. 

The more we do these things for the other moms in our lives... the more we receive also. This is how we become a community, mommas. This is how we stop exhausting ourselves by sprinting through the day. Don't be afraid to pass on, or pick up the baton and run the race together. We are sisters. We are superwomen. And more importantly... we're not alone... let's act like it.
-Carly

Working Moms Vs. Stay at Home Moms

To be or not to be, THAT...is the question. Well, it has been the question for me for the past couple of months at least. At some point we all face the tough decision of whether or not we should continue to stay home after maternity leave runs out or do we put our heels and pencil skirts back on for the office life? Do we stay home and cater to our children's needs like us mother's do best, or do we put them in daycare/preschool? Do we hold on to them until we don't have a choice to let them go or do we look through our fingers as they walk through the doors of childcare? The questions are endless, and so are the pros and cons, but in my honest opinion, there are no right or wrong answers as long as we have the best interest of our child, family and self in mind. I feel however, that there are often judgments that we face in our decision making either fro others, or ourselves. As a stay at home mother myself, I have questioned if what I was doing was enough since "I'm just a stay at home mom", I have been corrected several times for saying this since as we know there is no such thing as "just a mom" as we are all bloody brilliant!!!! The first few times I heard it I sort of brushed it off, and one day it clicked for me when I had my daughter all clean, nails clipped, hair brushed, toes polished, freshly laundered outfit, the whole nine. I looked at myself wearing the same sweat pants, cami, and bun that I had been wearing for the past three days, chipped nail polish, prickly legs, all the things that made me grateful for a split second I was single so no man would see me (the perks). It was in that moment, that I realized I put my everything into this child, in such a way that working mom's put their all into their paying job so that their kids may benefit from their work and give them everything. The ONLY difference is a paycheck! At the end of the day we all work our asses off to make sure our children have everything and want for nothing. We put our all into being good parents, and that's what counts. Whether we are watching Peppa Pig on repeat, pretending to be a dinosaur, or waking up early and coming home late, or even getting that little bit of overtime, it is all for our sweet sweet babies. We are each other's village that we talk about, and when we doubt ourselves and what we are doing , and if we are doing it well, stop for a second and look at your child/children and there is your answer. They are the direct product of the little, and ultimately huge daily successes that we accomplish. Cheers to that!
-Sydney