Perfect Pancakes

Sometimes there's nothing quite as lovely as a pancake for breakfast.
So, this morning I decided to share my Grandma's recipe for "Perfect Pancakes".
These pancakes have never failed me.
I'll be posting healthier versions in the future... but for now... here is a classic buttermilk pancake recipe:

Perfect Pancakes

Classic Buttermilk Pancakes

Ingredients: 

2 eggs
2 tablespoons melted butter
1 1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1 1/2 cup flour

Directions: 

Heat griddle or skillet over medium high heat
Whisk butter, eggs and milk until frothy.
Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well.
Pour about 1/4 cup batter into skillet/griddle.
When batter has stopped forming bubbles and is nice golden brown, flip over and cook another 1-2 minutes.

Serve with your favorite topping and enjoy!
Feel free to post a picture of your fabulous pancake creations below.

-Carly 

Shall We Date?

I think it’s safe to say that dating with kids is much more complicated than without. Suddenly the whole “marriage first” concept makes a whole lot of sense, but hey it doesn’t always work out that way, and that’s okay. Sometimes you do get married first and that doesn’t always work out either, as emotionally trying as either of these particular situations may be, it is part of our reality (I know, I hate it too). So the question remains, when do we date, how to we go about dating, are we really ready and how will my children respond to this? I’ve shared before that I am a single mom, and I think what has been the hardest thing for me to do as a single mom aside from caring for my daughter is accepting that title because I never wanted to be one. I think it took me a solid year with mini breakdowns in between before the concept really struck me as real. With that being said, I think that’s the first step. Accepting where we are and meeting our own selves where we currently stand (picture a big YOU ARE HERE sign) in life emotionally, mentally, and physically. Once we acknowledge what we are and where we are I think it’s safe to move forward a bit. Notice I said acknowledge verses accept, that is because most situations, emotions, concerns etc. are temporary and 100 percent changeable!! So with that in mind, why do we even feel like we should date? I mean realistically we’ve most likely been a single parent for a while now right? I think it all boils down to feeling pressured in one way or another. I know I have felt pressured to change my “single mom” title just because it came with unwanted stereotypes. I made a conscious decision to reject negative judgments of others and that no longer mattered to me. But hey, wait, what about all the ridiculously cute couples and families flooding our news feeds. I can’t even tell you how many times I uninstalled my Facebook app because I just didn’t want to know how happy everyone else was! So maybe we feel pressured to be like everyone else…Freudian slip much? Whatever our reasons, they need to solely be OUR reasons, because our life is our own and now our children;, who are the beneficiaries of our decision making. It wouldn’t be fair to put ourselves or others (children, potential mates) into a dating relationship as band-aides to our insecurities. Trust me, I know it gets lonely, and sometimes you just want the companionship and someone to watch bad tv with, but we must take that next step with a clear head.  I am obviously not an expert but here are a few things to think about:

4 signs that you are maybe NOT so ready to date

1.      If you’re looking for someone to be the father of your child/children, then maybe you should hold off. We as mother’s need to be strong and stable on our own. We need to be confident in our parenting abilities with or without the presence of a father.

2.      If you’re looking for someone to support you and FIX the situation. Simply put, the relationship will fail before it even gets started. By wanting someone to storm in and make it all better you are slapping these expectations on them that they don’t even know exist and will never meet...automatic disappoint. It is important to be well established on your own and able to stand on your own two feet before bringing someone new into the mix.

3.      If you’re just looking for sex. I feel like when children are involved we need to bring up our standards bar a bit as the choices we make are the things our children see and directly learn from. We know it gets lonely and the dry spells turn into the drought but I think we owe it to ourselves to want more. And hey, remember when we had sex because we loved someone?  Is it worth the disappointment? What if one of you ends up wanting more and the other one doesn’t…a mess that could be avoided, should be avoided, our kids make enough messes on their own!

4.      If you have to question your readiness. I feel like this is self-explanatory. If you have to question whether or not you are ready to date, you aren’t. If there are too many “what ifs”, “what about”, “should I”, then wait! I’ve got some great news, men or women are going to be on this earth for a while, so there is no need to rush. Instead, use this time to really get in touch with yourself and what you’re really wanting. That confidence will automatically reflect in your relationship. And that’s fantastic!!

So overall, it’s important that you are confident with who you are, and in the life that you live, whatever you are not confident or comfortable with is not permanent and can be changed! Before you drag anyone into your situation, make sure your situation isn’t a drag. We’ve all got skeletons, but let’s at least put them in the closet in alphabetical order. When meeting someone it is important to be opened and honest and to be completely okay with the response you get no matter which way it goes. After all, the idea is to blend together not to fit a circle into a square. And last but not least, children aside, we need to be first. It is important that we take good care of ourselves and remain strong, our lives are the blueprints of our children’s future so when we make choices we should ask how this it going to positively or negatively play out in our lives, and move forward from there. Xo

Margaritas anyone?
-Sydney

The Sisterhood of Motherhood

Let's talk about motherhood, shall we? 

Moms... we need to change our attitudes. 

Hear me out! 

We mothers can be like vultures. We pick each other apart and analyze each other's parenting styles, children, clothes, or food choices. 

We argue about vaccines, circumcision, car seats, diapers, breast feeding, food and diet, schools, discipline, the list goes on and on.... 

We compare ourselves to each other: "Well.. at least I don't (fill in snotty remark here)." 

Moms... it's okay to feel passionate about those things. It's okay to believe what you believe. You get to decide what's best for your child. Guess what? We all do. 

I know what you're thinking. "But.. MY way is RIGHT." 

Right? 

Right. 

Hey, guess what? That's cool. 

You know what's not cool? 

Attacking another mother because she does things differently. 

Let's talk about the things that make us the same... 

1.) We cry. From the moment our child comes into this world, we are doomed to cry. We cry when they're born. We cry when they take their first step. We cry on the first day of school, at prom, when they get their license, when they graduate, when they get married, etc... we are doomed to cry. All of us. 

2.) We go through a phase where we look and smell like zombies. I can't stand it where I hear the mother of a newborn say "He's such a good sleeper!" Really? Because my newborn woke up every two hours like clock work for EIGHT MONTHS STRAIGHT. But, regardless.... whether your zombie phase only lasted a week or two, or eight months... we all go through one. 

3.) We hide in the bathroom to eat doughnuts (or cake, or cupcake, or candy bar, or wine) just so we don't have to share with our child. Because nothing is ours anymore. But this doughnut... damn it.. this doughnut is MINE. 

4.) We get pooped on, peed on, puked on... we get snot and food and drinks and God-knows-what-else all over us. And not just when they're babies. I got peed on more when my daughter was potty training than the entire time she was a baby. 

5.) We get excited about everything. The first time our baby opens their eyes; crawls; walks; says their first word; gets their first good grade in school; says the alphabet; draws a picture (and you can tell what it is!)..... We are proud of our children. We love watching them grow and develop into little people. 

6.) We're nostalgic. We save all kinds of things that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else. Ticket stubs, cards, drawings, baby clothes, blankets... anything and everything that reminds us of when they were little or all the amazing things they've done. 

7.) We all question ourselves. Are we doing the right thing? Did I pick the right name? The right doctor? The right car seat? The right school? Am I teaching them the right stuff? My friend's kid (insert whatever here) and my kid isn't. Crap. What am I doing wrong? We all do that to ourselves. It's what makes us good parents. It's also what drives us crazy. 

8.) We are all a little crazy. How can you not be crazy? We go years and years without the slightest privacy. Kids opening the shower curtain and scaring us half to death.... going pee with a little inspector asking you how it all works.... prying eyes and billions of embarrassing questions. Public announcements: "My mommy has boobs!" "My mommy has a weird mole!" "My mommy has a dimple on her butt!!" (Those are all things my daughter has said to various cashiers within the last year.) 

Okay... so I think you get the point. 

We're more alike than we are different, ladies.... 

So why do we run the race of motherhood like a sprint, instead of a team sport? 

Why are we competing, instead of working together? 

We don't have to agree on everything in order to be a community of mothers to each other. 

That's what we are. That's what we should be. A community. 

But, more and more... I see moms trying to do everything on their own. And it's hard these days.. with things like Pintrest making us feel like we have to hand make dozens of birthday invites out of doilies, instead of sending a Facebook invite for every one to meet at Chuckie Cheese. 

We're hard on ourselves. Our generation of mothers has more information about safety and health than any other generation. We worry about what our kids eat and how much technology is too much technology. We worry about everything. We're on a whole new playing field than our previous generations. 

So how can we help each other out? How do we become that community that each of us really needs? 

Here are a few ideas: 

Make two casseroles. 

When you're trying out that new recipe... making a lasagna or trying out one of those famous Pintrest casseroles... make a second one and drop it off with another momma. We all need a break from cooking.. and sometimes something as simple as getting some relief from the mundane tasks of every day motherhood can mean more than anything. 

Pick up your friend's kids. 

Are you going to the park or taking your littles out for ice cream? Offer to pick up your friend's kids and take them with you. It's not a big deal, just an hour or two.... but, can you imagine what you'd do with a free hour or two? 

Organize play dates. And follow through. 

We all talk about it... "Let's get together soon!" But, do it. It's great for the kids and for the moms. Sometimes there is nothing more wonderful that sitting on the porch with another adult, drinking iced tea and watching the kids run around. 

Organize a clothing swap. 

Our kids outgrow clothes. Fast. Let's get together and figure this out! Think garage sale. But free! Score. 

The more we do these things for the other moms in our lives... the more we receive also. This is how we become a community, mommas. This is how we stop exhausting ourselves by sprinting through the day. Don't be afraid to pass on, or pick up the baton and run the race together. We are sisters. We are superwomen. And more importantly... we're not alone... let's act like it.
-Carly

Working Moms Vs. Stay at Home Moms

To be or not to be, THAT...is the question. Well, it has been the question for me for the past couple of months at least. At some point we all face the tough decision of whether or not we should continue to stay home after maternity leave runs out or do we put our heels and pencil skirts back on for the office life? Do we stay home and cater to our children's needs like us mother's do best, or do we put them in daycare/preschool? Do we hold on to them until we don't have a choice to let them go or do we look through our fingers as they walk through the doors of childcare? The questions are endless, and so are the pros and cons, but in my honest opinion, there are no right or wrong answers as long as we have the best interest of our child, family and self in mind. I feel however, that there are often judgments that we face in our decision making either fro others, or ourselves. As a stay at home mother myself, I have questioned if what I was doing was enough since "I'm just a stay at home mom", I have been corrected several times for saying this since as we know there is no such thing as "just a mom" as we are all bloody brilliant!!!! The first few times I heard it I sort of brushed it off, and one day it clicked for me when I had my daughter all clean, nails clipped, hair brushed, toes polished, freshly laundered outfit, the whole nine. I looked at myself wearing the same sweat pants, cami, and bun that I had been wearing for the past three days, chipped nail polish, prickly legs, all the things that made me grateful for a split second I was single so no man would see me (the perks). It was in that moment, that I realized I put my everything into this child, in such a way that working mom's put their all into their paying job so that their kids may benefit from their work and give them everything. The ONLY difference is a paycheck! At the end of the day we all work our asses off to make sure our children have everything and want for nothing. We put our all into being good parents, and that's what counts. Whether we are watching Peppa Pig on repeat, pretending to be a dinosaur, or waking up early and coming home late, or even getting that little bit of overtime, it is all for our sweet sweet babies. We are each other's village that we talk about, and when we doubt ourselves and what we are doing , and if we are doing it well, stop for a second and look at your child/children and there is your answer. They are the direct product of the little, and ultimately huge daily successes that we accomplish. Cheers to that!
-Sydney